If Not Now, When? - Not Now. But, In Time.

I've been meaning to write something Incubus related here in the HQ since the day I got here. But, for some reason, it's just now that I am gonna do it.


Why? I don't know... maybe because there are a lot of things going on lately.


It's probably old news that the leak has happened. Yeah, water leak or something. And from what I've observed, most of those who have heard the news are true Incubus fans. I might be wrong, but, I've also noticed that most of those who've downloaded the album are Incubus fans too. I guess, if you're not really into Incubus, you won't get affected, you wouldn't care, nor even bother at all. I mean, if it was some Britney record, I won't give a damn. On the other hand, if you are one of those who have followed Incubus over the years, then it's sort of automatic for you to just stop, look, and think... or just cave in and listen.


As for me, it's been 3 days and I still haven't caved in. I've been waiting for this record for sometime now, and come to think of it, now that it's lying right in front of me, it should've been easy. I shouldn't even think and just go for it. I mean no judgment for those who have listened to it. Granted that they did, I guess it just meant that they too, are very interested with incubus. Huge fans who'd still probably buy, or probably did buy the album already. Anxious enough, they caved in.


But for me, it is just different. The way I've learned about the news, it is just heartbreaking. Somehow, being a part of this HQ made me feel like I've been working with the band in the process of all these. I am feeling this way and I could imagine worse for those who've actually worked and put their heart on it. But yes, shit happens and we have to move on, move forward, and not dwell on the past. Just learn from it, I guess.


Currently sobbing just thinking about it... but anyway... my heart, can be patient at this point. Plans surely have changed, and comes with it are the feelings I have. I feel, at this point, that I still can't give in, not with a heavy heart. Not yet. Maybe, in time. In the right time, as planned. This isn't the way I wanted things to be. Not with Incubus.


In some way, reading what others have thought of with this record, those reviews everywhere, makes me look forward to that day. It still makes me anxious and excited. Though a bit challenging not to be influenced about others' technical thoughts or specific comments, it makes me look forward to that day that it would be my time to relate and tell my story of the album... And why rush if you could get that feeling everyday?


I remember there was this time, Ren was chatting with us. He told us that he will never stop unless the world knows about Incubus. And he also said (though I am not entirely sure about the exact words are) that there are fans who have been a fan for a decade now or something, and that doesn't mean that they can be mean(from my impression, too proud) to those who have just started to like the band (just correct me if I'm wrong, but this is what I remember, again, not the exact words, but the way I interpret what he said)--like they are more of a fan compared to the new ones.


With this, I've come to think that I wouldn't want an upcoming fan to discover the new record because of the leak. I mean, it could probably work in a way that someone becomes interested in buying the whole album because of being invited through the leak. But I guess, since I've put so much value on it, the way that I would want this new record to be delivered is in the form that it is meant to be, to the old and new fans.


I know that I am not in a perfect world, and for some, this might not be a big of a deal. But, at this point, this is the road that I am taking, something which is a bit longer, could be straight and a bit winding at the same time. I could imagine right now how the album would sound like... just like what Jake mentioned one time... like it's good for a long drive. And probably, at this point, that's what I am gonna do... think about it on my travel in that long road. There might still be some surprises along the way... you never know. No rush, just love and patience. And once I arrive at my destination, I'd stop, and enjoy what I've been waiting for. Cherish all the thoughts and face the gift at the end of the rainbow. Nurture that wanting feeling and finally, give in. It's all gonna be worth it. It always is, because I know, for myself, that THAT time and place is the right one.

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Comment by Cynthia Katz on May 2, 2011 at 9:22pm

Hi Katrina! Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and thoughts. I read this on friday, but didn't have a chance to write until now.

Last week, I intended to write something similar but wasn't sure. Monday to wednesday were though days for me, I was sad and depressed. Then I thought that maybe I could write a message to Ren, share my thoughts with him. Not only I was sad for me, for having our anticipation and little surprises ruined, but also for the guys. I was very worried for them, how they felt, how these news affected them, and also their plans. But then I saw Ren on the chat, he wrote very nice words and it calmed me a little bit.

I remember telling you on the chat that another reason I didn't want to listen to the album was because I don't like from where it came from, and those days I had a very bad mood caused by all this thing. And this beautiful music only deserves the best of us, or like Sketch said, it deserves to be heard from our souls :)

A few days later, when you, Sketch, Ramon, Melissa, and a few more, said that you were going to wait for the release I felt a lot better. It is so nice to know that we are not alone, and and we can still share our excitement and anticipation together until that wonderful day comes :)

So I feel very good right now, everything is left in the past and we are moving forward. Many "gifts" are yet to come, we have much to share and anxiously wait to see Incubus live!!!!

However, I haven't read any album reviews, I was going to read Fran's, but then I changed my mind. I've just read some conversations on the chat, but only superficial. But I can imagine what is waiting for us, we had a little taste with Adolescents. Particularly for me, this album is what I'm waiting for, the mood or vibes or message, I don't know how to say it, is what I need in my life. It will be perfect! Oh I'm so happy :D

When I read your post the other day, it moved me so much. The last paragraph got me all teary-eyed.. OKay, I just read it again and it moved me again, so beautiful words; and the best thing, is that we can put them into practice on other many choices of hour life.

Patience and love my dear travel companion, have a nice drive, and see you at the end of the rainbow very soon. Thank you!!!!

Comment by Caleb Escobar on April 29, 2011 at 9:59am
I understand your feeling...and it's awesome...you are a true fan...there's many different kinds of fan of course, but you are a good one, that doesn't mean that the ones that hear the album before are not, but you definitely are a very loyal one!..thanks for sharing katrina! and Nice to Meet you! :)
Comment by Nerissa Piscar on April 29, 2011 at 8:02am

aww, your post got me teary-eyed. i've been anxiously waiting for the album release too and it's getting harder every time the others comment on their newfound favorite tracks so i know what you mean (i finally caved in and listened to Isadore but i trust i can still hold back with the other tracks) that said, i'm so proud of you for your strong will. it's just so hard to abstain my ears x_x 

caving in to listening to one track was sort of a good thing in my case though--coz it sates my hunger to listen to the new album. i just wish i discovered the player widget at the home page earlier coz surface to air would have been enough.

kudos to you and your self-restraint. may we both last til july. <3


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