I've been meaning to write something Incubus related here in the HQ since the day I got here. But, for some reason, it's just now that I am gonna do it.
Why? I don't know... maybe because there are a lot of things going on lately.
It's probably old news that the leak has happened. Yeah, water leak or something. And from what I've observed, most of those who have heard the news are true Incubus fans. I might be wrong, but, I've also noticed that most of those who've downloaded the album are Incubus fans too. I guess, if you're not really into Incubus, you won't get affected, you wouldn't care, nor even bother at all. I mean, if it was some Britney record, I won't give a damn. On the other hand, if you are one of those who have followed Incubus over the years, then it's sort of automatic for you to just stop, look, and think... or just cave in and listen.
As for me, it's been 3 days and I still haven't caved in. I've been waiting for this record for sometime now, and come to think of it, now that it's lying right in front of me, it should've been easy. I shouldn't even think and just go for it. I mean no judgment for those who have listened to it. Granted that they did, I guess it just meant that they too, are very interested with incubus. Huge fans who'd still probably buy, or probably did buy the album already. Anxious enough, they caved in.
But for me, it is just different. The way I've learned about the news, it is just heartbreaking. Somehow, being a part of this HQ made me feel like I've been working with the band in the process of all these. I am feeling this way and I could imagine worse for those who've actually worked and put their heart on it. But yes, shit happens and we have to move on, move forward, and not dwell on the past. Just learn from it, I guess.
Currently sobbing just thinking about it... but anyway... my heart, can be patient at this point. Plans surely have changed, and comes with it are the feelings I have. I feel, at this point, that I still can't give in, not with a heavy heart. Not yet. Maybe, in time. In the right time, as planned. This isn't the way I wanted things to be. Not with Incubus.
In some way, reading what others have thought of with this record, those reviews everywhere, makes me look forward to that day. It still makes me anxious and excited. Though a bit challenging not to be influenced about others' technical thoughts or specific comments, it makes me look forward to that day that it would be my time to relate and tell my story of the album... And why rush if you could get that feeling everyday?
I remember there was this time, Ren was chatting with us. He told us that he will never stop unless the world knows about Incubus. And he also said (though I am not entirely sure about the exact words are) that there are fans who have been a fan for a decade now or something, and that doesn't mean that they can be mean(from my impression, too proud) to those who have just started to like the band (just correct me if I'm wrong, but this is what I remember, again, not the exact words, but the way I interpret what he said)--like they are more of a fan compared to the new ones.
With this, I've come to think that I wouldn't want an upcoming fan to discover the new record because of the leak. I mean, it could probably work in a way that someone becomes interested in buying the whole album because of being invited through the leak. But I guess, since I've put so much value on it, the way that I would want this new record to be delivered is in the form that it is meant to be, to the old and new fans.
I know that I am not in a perfect world, and for some, this might not be a big of a deal. But, at this point, this is the road that I am taking, something which is a bit longer, could be straight and a bit winding at the same time. I could imagine right now how the album would sound like... just like what Jake mentioned one time... like it's good for a long drive. And probably, at this point, that's what I am gonna do... think about it on my travel in that long road. There might still be some surprises along the way... you never know. No rush, just love and patience. And once I arrive at my destination, I'd stop, and enjoy what I've been waiting for. Cherish all the thoughts and face the gift at the end of the rainbow. Nurture that wanting feeling and finally, give in. It's all gonna be worth it. It always is, because I know, for myself, that THAT time and place is the right one.