Dear God,

I don't know if you can hear me anymore, but I'm trying.

I'm having a hard time today.

I'm worried about my brother. I don't know if he is a sick as I think he is, but I'm praying to you that he is not. I'm hoping you will bring him clarity of sight and health of mind and body. Most of all, he needs a hard dose of reality that none of us can seem to give him. I sincerely hope that this illness is not that dose of reality, but I trust you. I need you to be with him right now.

I'm having trouble seeing through this darkness - I need clarity and strength to help him through this. I need to be able to keep it all together one more time, so I can be the parent that neither our mother or father is capable of being. 

I miss my grandfather. I wish I had him here to give me some perspective - to help me be what I need to be for my brother right now. Grampa had a talent for seeing straight through the bullshit and laying everything out on the line. I know he's up there with you now - maybe you could spare him for a little while, let him be here in spirit to comfort me.

God, my heart is aching. Please, just tonight, try and listen.

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